The unsettling feeling

There is so much bubbling inside me that it gets hard to put it down in a proper coherent manner.

Most of the times I think my troubles come from the fact that my head is constantly whirling. Thoughts never leave me and now they have crept in to my sleep as well. I cannot remember the last time I slept at a decent hour and did not wake up thinking.

This mediocrity of life is driving me crazy. It’s better to lose oneself in oblivion of all that life has to offer. Live life in a routine, do nothing out of the ordinary. Earn money. Spend money. Sleep, repeat.

Thanks to all this free time that I have had and some peculiar people that I happened to cross paths with, my bubble has been broken. My silly expectations from life have resurrected.

This is not who I want to be. This is not what I want to do. This banal existence and dumbness of senses is eroding me from inside.

I have been conditioned so perfectly that I know this is what I ought to do. The brain once again takes over the mind. And the questions have left unanswered, shoved under the carpet.

~S

Pensive thoughts

"The world is full of chaos and the only mistake we make is get too attached to it."

 ~Yours truly.

Excerpt from my diary.

...the time of obvious understanding that your people were still your world.

It sucks to be stuck in the vicious cycle of nothing and everything. Where the fine line between the right and the wrong gets stepped upon so much, that one fine day, it conveniently disappears. And you don't even notice. Days filled with a constant chase to meet the ends meet. All in vain, of course. Nights of dreamless sleep and dreams on sleepless nights.

No, it's not as bad as I make it sound. It sure can be better. But isn't that the story of our lives?

_