There is so much bubbling inside me that it gets hard to put it down in a proper coherent manner.
Most of the times I think my troubles come from the fact
that my head is constantly whirling. Thoughts never leave me and now they have crept
in to my sleep as well. I cannot remember the last time I slept at a decent hour
and did not wake up thinking.
This mediocrity of life is driving me crazy. It’s better to
lose oneself in oblivion of all that life has to offer. Live life in a routine,
do nothing out of the ordinary. Earn money. Spend money. Sleep, repeat.
Thanks to all this free time that I have had and some peculiar
people that I happened to cross paths with, my bubble has been broken. My silly
expectations from life have resurrected.
This is not who I want to be. This is not what I want to do.
This banal existence and dumbness of senses is eroding me from inside.
I have been conditioned so perfectly that I know this is
what I ought to do. The brain once again takes over the mind. And the questions
have left unanswered, shoved under the carpet.
~S
